easy life...

its weird. i feel relaxed and happy for the first time in sooo long. its almost a strange feeling. still living with my man. he makes me happy. well except for friday night when he got in and was really drunk and very sick. not nice. i just feel so chilled being there with him. he keeps talking about baby names. i'm not completely sure how i should take it. having a child is something we've talked about. only really cos he's a lot oder than me and has two grown up girls and a 3 yr old boy. he has always said he would like us to have a child together but he only wants one more child. i dont have any children but i think i would be okay with just having one child. after i had the miscarraige last year having another baby was all i could think of. then i guess my mind went to other things eventually when it stopped hurting so much. like going back to college this year. but now i cant stop thinking about it again. i know now would be the wrong time cos i wouldn't be able to finish my year course at college and go to uni straight away but i cant get the idea out of my mind. and him talking baby names all the time isn't helping. and then there's my ex. he doesn't even know i'm with my man (he would hate it if he knew-he kinda works with my man and they dont get on...long story) so if i got pregnant what the hell would i say to him?? i dont want to lose him-he's my family. i just dont know what to think. i guess im just so happy there with him at the moment that the idea of having a baby and being all settled is really nice. and the odd thing is at the moment that my ex is giving me soo much stress but im so chilled with my man i dont even think about it. and usually i worry about everything.